Strains are out here dripping trichomes like sweat drops, and the rounds are only getting spicier as the legendary strains find themselves up against the Diaper Dandies that newer consumers are starting to hold as the People’s Champs.
Granddaddy Purple thought stuff was sweet and found out MAC isn’t here to play. Will Alien Kush face the same fate? Is it scary hours for Pineapple Express?
The field now looks like this:
Quick note: don’t forget to vote on Weedmaps’ Instagram stories. Polls will stay open until Saturday 4:20 p.m. PST.
And with that, let’s jump into our Dank 16 matchups.
(#1) OG Kush vs (#2) Wedding Cake
After seeing the way OG Kush handled Strawberry Cough in the first round, it’s hard to think that the defending 2020 Strain Madness champion won’t claim the 2021 trophy as well — even against a new-school legend like Wedding Cake. It’s like yeah, Giannis is nice, he got the MVP; but LeBron is forever LeBron, and what’s happened every time people doubt LeBron?
This one’s for all the West Coast marbles.
Winner: OG Kush
(#3) Alien Kush vs (#5) MAC
Alien Kush had it easy in the first round against a WiFi Cake that people might not even be up on yet. But Miracle Alien Cookies? People are BIG smoking MAC right now. I literally burnt down a pre-roll of it yesterday after climbing a mountain, and that was before we knew it had gotten Coach Ken Estes and GDP up outta there.
In the battle of galactic hybrids, which team will continue on in Strain Madness 2021? The sweet and extremely relaxing Kush or the earthy and potently uplifting Cookies?
Choose your Alien now.
Winner: Alien Kush
(#1) Gelato vs (#2) AK-47
You know when dudes grow up and think they can finally beat up their dads, only to find out that dad’s Grown Man Strength has come into its full potential when he pins them to the living room floor with just his forearm as Marvin Gaye’s Inner City Blues plays in the background? That’s what happened to Ice Cream Cake in the first round vs. Gelato. Now the famed dessert strain continues its expected path against AK-47.
This is probably the nap game.
(#3) Banjo vs (#5) Sour Diesel
If we’re going by the votes, then Bubba Kush should never say Sour Diesel‘s name again. Additionally, Banjo better be putting together its best possible gameplan, because if history has anything to say, it’s that Sour Diesel is still, and forever, one of the top strains in all of Strain Madness. But in this matchup of sativa-dominance, will legacy be enough to knock off the super tasty and super fun high in Banjo?
Winner: Sour Diesel
(#1) Blue Dream vs (#2) Green Crack
In Round 1, Blue Dream dropped a Russell Westbrook 20/20/20 triple-double on 13 Dawgs‘ headtop. Green Crack did the exact same to Apple Fritter. Now what will they do with each other? This is the Kobe (RIP) vs LeBron playoffs matchup that we never got.
Winner: Blue Dream
(#6) Purple Haze vs (#5) Super Lemon Haze
In the fight of its life, we thought Forbidden Fruit might emerge victorious, but nope. The ghost of Jimi Hendrix came through like Kadeem Hardison in the Sixth Man and helped give Purple Haze the fourth quarter boost that it needed. Beaten, battered, but still breathing, Purple Haze now rides its momentum into the Dank 16, where it faces off against its sister strain, Super Lemon Haze.
Game of Thrones had the Cleganebowl, this is the weed version of that.
Winner: Purple Haze
(#1) Pineapple Express vs (#2) Biscotti
Out of the 5,391 people that voted on the Round 1 matchup, 82% of y’all sent Alpha Blue packing. It was so ugly that Alpha Blue didn’t even go back to the locker room, it just headed straight to the buses from the court. Biscotti may be one of Lil’ Baby’s favorite strains, but Seth Rogan never made a movie about it. Will the 2-seed upset Shelf 4’s top dog?
You tell us.
Winner: Pineapple Express
(#3) GMO Cookies vs (#4) GG4
GMO Cookies is the most in-every-strain, on-every-shelf, hybrid that I know of today. It’s so inescapable that I’m glad I love it, cause otherwise, I’d walk out of a lot of dispensaries with empty hands and an emptier heart. That’s why it’s no surprise that it blew past a niche, Cookies-exclusive strain like Pink Rozay.
GG4’s built different though. GG4 ain’t no slouch. GG4’s out for blood. GG4 had absolutely no problem with GMO Cookies’ parent strain in the first round, and now it wants the baby too.
Can GG4 do what Scar in the Lion King couldn’t? We expect this one to be an absolute nail-biter.
Danté Jordan is a freelance writer, video producer, and media consultant specializing in cannabis culture, strains, products, education, and everything else related to that lil’ green flower. Contact him at dantenetworks(at)gmail(dotcom), or dante_jordan on Instagram. His website is www.dantejordan.com.